Just a little something.

As you might know, probably, I'm not sure -coughs awkwardly- uh, I've been participating in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month, people, just Google it) since 2011 and it's one hell of a time for my brain. It has nothing whatsoever to do with what I'm about to type about next. I just wanted to say that. Okay.

Sometimes I don't know myself. I really don't. I'm in the middle of puberty, still, and I 'know' myself but I don't 'know' what I 'want'. For example, I like this sort of shirt with these cool designs and things like that. Use your imagination. No matter how much I like it, I can't seem to want to buy it or wear it. I don't know, something like that. I confuse even myself sometimes.

I'm thinking that in the future, in college, I'd want to be a loner. I can be trapped in my own little world and try to wait for someone to break through my chinky barriers and things like that and we end up married, maybe. Maybe those sort of things only happen in mangas. 

I'm off to cook my Korean instant noodles right now they just taste really good. If you really wanna know, I'm having seafood flavour.

Ahem ahem.

I also want to make tons of friends and just be the 'cool kid with lots of friends' in college later on. I want to mix with other people. I want to mix particularly with people who share the same interests with me. I find it hard to find those people though, but we'll see. I want to live happy and actually have all my friends on Facebook know me for who I am. 

I think I'll continue on that topic at some later time. 

Incidentally, I haven't been feeling too well lately. I'm thinking that I have this thing called IBS (Irritated Bowel Syndrome) and it's really uncomfortable. I get hungry but my throat doesn't seem to want to swallow. I think I'll take it easy on food for the next few days. 

For now, adios.
Don't expect too much of an update from me, though.

It's time for a change.

Never would I have thought that I'd come back to this blog. 

Sounds like a really pessimistic comment, huh? It's true, though. I've read other people's blogs and it just seems really fantastic that they can fully express themselves through the medium of words. I'd like to do that too. 

I may act like a teenager at times (well, most of the time) but now I'm having those sort of moments where I grow up (mentally) and try to make out what 'life' is. I'm trying to delve into something that is awfully complicated, as simple as it looks.

So now, I play all honest feelings on the table. Not all, maybe. Some things are meant to be kept private shush shush. 

Anyways, I'll be re-decorating this blog, turning the contents over and tumbling them all up into something that mirrors me - something that I am now. Looking back at myself in the past, it's just really humiliating. I was stupid, pure and idiotic. The world turns with me in the centre and all that.

Time to grow up a little I guess. 

Now, to put feelings onto the table ahem ahem.

Onto the next post if you want to read them then.

And also a side note: I won't be updating this blog frequently. It's like a place where I find solace in myself by typing all my emotions and jumbled up feelings in words. I feel better already, I think. I hope so.